60 Quotes From David Sedaris | Status Free Download
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| 60 Quotes From David Sedaris |
60 Quotes From David Sedaris | FaceBook Status Free Download
My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining.
— David Sedaris
I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.
— David Sedaris
I like nonfiction books about people with wretched lives.
— David Sedaris
I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had to force myself. Then it became part of my identity, and I did it without thinking.
— David Sedaris
I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like.
— David Sedaris
I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's.
— David Sedaris
If I'm riding my bike I just replay the same scenarios over and over in my head, like I haven't had a new mental adventure since high school. So that's what I like about books on tape, so my mind can't wander anywhere.
— David Sedaris
People ask if I miss it, but they don't understand that American culture is so ubiquitous that there's nothing to miss. I don't see myself moving back. It's not that I hate the United States. I just always thought it would be a shame not to live in a foreign country.
— David Sedaris
I think it's important to take chances.
— David Sedaris
It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'
— David Sedaris
I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with 'The New Yorker,' and then I was like, 'Okay, now you can call yourself that.'
— David Sedaris
I love getting attention, just like a child loves it, and it's never worn off. So when people say, oh the book signings go on, why would I shoo away someone who's giving me attention? What part of standing in line for 10 hours to say how much they love you is bad to you?
— David Sedaris
I don't like being left to my own thoughts.
— David Sedaris
I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me.
— David Sedaris
When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard.
— David Sedaris
I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn't get any laughs when they told their story.
— David Sedaris
But I don't distinguish between being laughed with, and laughed at. I'll take either.
— David Sedaris
Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth.
— David Sedaris
As a foreigner in London, I like that there are so many other foreigners.
— David Sedaris
They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity.
— David Sedaris
I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners.
— David Sedaris
I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.
— David Sedaris
There are lots of things that happen to me that I don't write about.
— David Sedaris
I've never gone on Facebook and am not sure I understand it. The same goes for Twitter. I have someone sending tweets and pretending to be me, but I don't know why.
— David Sedaris
I don't have email.
— David Sedaris
Actually I liked that 'Let the Right One In,' that Swedish vampire movie.
— David Sedaris
I always knew I wanted it to be illustrated.
— David Sedaris
But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.
— David Sedaris
When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening.
— David Sedaris
I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended.
— David Sedaris
I like listening to books as well, as that way you can iron at the same time.
— David Sedaris
Lovers of audio books learn to live with compromise.
— David Sedaris
I guess my guilty pleasure would be listening to the British audio versions of the 'Harry Potter' books.
— David Sedaris
Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.
— David Sedaris
If you read somebody's diary, you get what you deserve.
— David Sedaris
After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.
— David Sedaris
To say that a humorist exaggerates to get big laughs, I don't see how that's big news.
— David Sedaris
My sister Tiffany told me years ago, 'You can never write about me.' Then she called six months ago and said she wanted to be in a story. She was worried people thought I didn't like her.
— David Sedaris
I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone.
— David Sedaris
Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it.
— David Sedaris
The only real advice you can give anyone is to keep writing.
— David Sedaris
The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.
— David Sedaris
I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you.
— David Sedaris
What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.
— David Sedaris
But most good movies have a gun in them.
— David Sedaris
No one writes dialect better than Flannery O'Connor. No one should even try.
— David Sedaris
I love 'Glee.'
— David Sedaris
People ask me, 'Have you ever considered doing stand-up?' To me it would be less offensive if someone asked me, 'Have you ever considered dental implants?'
— David Sedaris
I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.
— David Sedaris
I love 'Glee.' I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it okay to cry.
— David Sedaris
I've been keeping diaries for 27 years.
— David Sedaris
I like books on tape, and will listen to just about anything.
— David Sedaris
I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting.
— David Sedaris
Sometimes I say to myself, 'Oh, I wish I could win a Tony Award', although I'm not that bothered.
— David Sedaris
I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine.
— David Sedaris
I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it OK to cry.
— David Sedaris
Because I've always been a fairly nervous person.
— David Sedaris
I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorists use, such as exaggeration.
— David Sedaris
I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter.
— David Sedaris
I sometimes read books on my iPad.
— David Sedaris
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